My "Aha" Moment

When my husband and I were dating, we were asked, "Are you planning to get married?"
After we were married, we were asked, "Are you planning to have kids?"
Once we had our first child, we were asked, "Are you planning to have more?"
Following the arrival of our son, we still get asked, "Are you planning to have more?
Now, as our daughter is getting older, we are asked, "Are you going to homeschool or send her to school?"
My question is (though not the point of this post), "Will the questions stop?" :o)

For quite a while now, basically since our daughter was born, I have been watching her grow up - much too quickly, of course. The school question has been on my mind a lot, and almost daily the past few months. I have been doing "school-type" things with her since she was 2-1/2 and we daily incorporate learning in some form or fashion. Honestly, it is a lot of work, yet I enjoy watching our daughter learn. My list of pros and cons of homeschooling versus Christian education isn't on paper, but is thought of often. At a certain point though, I just stop thinking about it since that seems easier.

I don't want to do or not do one or the other because of what others may or may not think of me.
I don't want to do or not do one or the other because it is too much or too little work.
I don't want to do or not do one or the other because I want or don't want to fit in.
I don't want to do or not do one or the other because I am afraid of my weaknesses, tendencies, and failures.
I don't want to do or not do one or the other because of fear of the unknown.
I don't want to do or not do one or the other because of what is or is not on my pros and cons list.

My "aha" moment came to me about two weeks ago when I finally figured out what the underlying issue is for me. Politicians promise it, all people have experienced it in some form or fashion, and we're even told it's "good."

CHANGE

I finally figured out that it's not as much the decision itself that I am afraid of, but is mostly the change that is coming. I like life the way it is right now. I like having a four-year-old and 15-month old. I like our daily and weekly routines. I like our any-time-of-year vacations. I like sleeping in and going to bed late sometimes. I like the everyday moments within our family.

If homeschooling is chosen, there are big changes that will come with that. If Christian education is chosen, then there are big changes that will come with that, too. And the funny thing is, I don't even know all of the changes that are coming. Will there be struggles? Most certainly. My guess is that there will be struggles financially, mentally, physically, and spiritually. But rather than focus on the "what if"s", I need God's help to focus on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report.

I can also be thankful that....
- God never changes.
- God gives wisdom.
- God is faithful.
- God gives peace.
- God is sovereign.
- God gives strength.
- God provides.
- God knows.
- God is good.
- God forgives.
- God is longsuffering.
- God hears AND answers.
- God can change me.
- God can empower me.
- God wants my cares.

I want God's clear direction, wisdom, best, and will for our lives not just with this big decision, but also in the every day routine decisions. I am praying to that end and covet your prayers as well.